Thank you to all who have contacted me - both here and elsewhere - I have responded to all I can - many have been no-reply comments so please don't feel I haven't read your words and your kindness - I have and I am really touched by it. Really.
After a bit of encouragement I have seen my GP to help myself more - some happy pills are yet to kick in, but it takes time I'm told.
There are many of us out there - those fighting for loved ones against diseases that destroy them - if you are one, you are not alone. Even though it feels like no-one knows it like you do, and this is probably true, there are many who are suffering too - and many who have come through the other end.
When our first troubles began, it was like being hit by a truck - and reading literature made it worse, reading about terrible outcomes stopped me in my tracks. Now, I am buoyed by hearing stories of people they know who have come through very well, and I cling to those life rafts.
Can I just encourage you to let someone know you are thinking of them? Just a simple text is all that may be needed - they are not alone, their problem is being acknowledged, another person in the world is thinking of them. It is amazing how good it feels to receive something like that. You may be surprised how good you may feel by sending it too.
Isn't this simply beautiful? A very clever friend made this for me awhile ago - it is so special.
Thank you Bertie! You are a wonderful bean.